Rude Awakenings

As for me, words is all I have. Words on the table, some spilt on the floor, words in the air, words yet to be born, others dead cold in the trashcan. Some of them get committed to print, enjoying a brief life in the sun, while not many stay in my head as I like to be clean and clear before I go to sleep.

Well let me confess something. These words haven’t helped me much in case of my relationships with everybody. Not just my family and friends but practically everybody.
I have been grassed on by every friend of mine, at least once. Not in all these years that I have lived, have I had somebody who has accepted me the way I am. At times, the people you think you are the closest to you can have split personalities. Well who doesn’t? Even I have it.

But I value people because I think there is nothing more to value in this world. It does make you fall flat a lot of times but that’s the way we are. Social animals Huh!

And aren’t there any friends in the world? Are they an illusion? Well one of my fellow bloggers’ believes so. But I still differ to agree, but there are times when I feel he is right.

As of now I want to go for a swim.


…………………………………………………………………….
This world isn’t a bad place to live in. And contains some of the best individuals that have been created. This is the chain of thought that just took the direction you can read here because of intensity of the day and the night

Admit Two

The breeze blows as I sit with a notepad in my hand to jot down a few points regarding a class assignment. The clock ticks, its sound totally drowning in the fan’s noise.

These fans create so much of noise, but the sound so much becomes a part of every night, so similar to a clock’s ticking. Though a ticking clock can irritate a little too much at times.

I look around. The world ‘seems’ to be sleeping, at least half of it is!

I often relate to nights very well. And I love being alone during this part of the 24 hours.

But today it is different. A struggle, a want, a very strong desire to feel contented. The inner being feels a little too unaccompanied.

I don’t feel like working at all on the assignment and the only words that I write down on the Notepad- ‘Admit two’.

And suddenly I hear a knock on the door and a beaming smile is what I see.

…………………………………………………………………..

Inspired by a story that I had read as a kid. It was also called- ‘Admit two’ but that involved a murder as well. Hmm can u recall?

Freedom

Coffee, Books and Music
I love and live to be with these three
And it is this part of the day, which is night
that I feel liberated…, free…
Then comes morning and shackles start to slither on me
But I wait for the night to happen
So that I feel liberated…, free…, yet again.

Hope

I am still waiting for those thousand splendid suns.

The watch ticks by as not even one of them is visible.

But passion is something that knows no bounds. The zeal is keen to reach the glorious.

I jump high and try to catch the moon. I hold it tight and bring it with me. The first sun rises and there is hope for the rest nine hundred and ninety nine.

Dreams…..i still wait for the rest of them to illuminate me and the rest of the world.

Hope brings life. The verve to get me through and live like melted chocolate.

The Water

As I look into the vacant today
As I search for the unoccupied
As I wait, lest the unfilled appears
The water flows by.

The mist gets thicker
My head feels heavier
And delusions appear
The water flows by.

Some write about blood
Some write about love
Some don’t write
The water flows by

The vultures stare at me
I stare back
The church bells ring
The water flows by.

Don’t close your eyes
Look at me and come closer
The shutters come down
The water flows by

I hear an opus symphony
Touching my empathy and heart
Moving in peace in the mind’s cart
The water flows by.

The water does not flow by anymore
Well, it must have found other shores
I wait for the incredible to happen
And invite the sea to beckon

Let the day not end
Let my flowing outfit stop the day
Running after the light, I gaze…
The shadow doesn’t touch me.

The Rainy Void

There are times when one wants to stop thinking about everything. Times when one just wants to put out of mind all that lies within it and look around with no perspective. Today was one such day.

The day was bright and sunny and water in profusion wasn’t really expected. But around 5 in the evening the breeze was indeed perfect. Perfect with my mood.And it started to pour soon.

The best thing that I realised was that I wanted to be blank and gaze. But void could be so good sometimes, I did not know. You just see and feel what is there, unlike other times when the void tries to dig in really hard, crushing the complete essence of existence.

Rain has somehow always given me this feeling of going back to school days. Another thing being that I have always loved to watch the rain, instead of drenching myself and enjoying it ‘on’ myself. I believe that rain reaches within me much more when I watch it. The colour of the day, puddles of water, people playing in it, some others trying to run for shelter.

Looking at rain does bind a lot of things at the same time. Exquisiteness, Fun and search for survival- as a package, right in front of your eyes, together, as different entities, but still going past each other without any concern with one another.

My friends played in the rain while I started to click photos.

But apart from all the splendour of the wonderful rain, the valid became apparent. The distance between void and valid was covered in not more then a second. I realised that I had to get back home from the university with Neha without the availability of the scooter or the car. (Nothing was available with us today.) So public transport was the best answer. But reaching the bus stop from the department was some ride. Water till our ankles, mud getting tossed and huddled under one umbrella with rains thrashing it from every side, we were soaked. To top it all, we had worn white tops today, a wardrobe disaster for the rainy day like today (we all had planned to wear white to demonstrate the solidarity of the batch in front of the juniors.)

What is a bus stop without a bus?

“Anxiousness personified.” Said Oliver Twist. For once he was right!

So a wait for another 45 minutes before we boarded an auto which took a good 30 minutes to make me reach home. Neha had to go further with 20 more minutes.

But I enjoyed myself in a very different way today. Rain and Void are words that are poles apart but this feeling was brought in by Rain and so positively that I just loved it being within me.

Empty spaces can be as beautiful as the rain itself. I am waiting for some more of these.

Air… Is it Ours?

He smiled at me from a distance and blushed as he said ‘hi’, trying to sound confident and self assured but still a little unsure as to how I would react. Not very tall, thin and rather just a 3 to 4 inches taller then me, (by the way I am quite short. Five feet one and a half inchs to be precise)I had met him in my office and was senior there by 2 years but in the university I was his junior.
This guy was too good to be true. An overdose of genuineness which was quite irritating at times, but he passed of most of the times as a cute guy, who had his own theories of life and liked to abide by them, no matter what.

Then there was this immensely tall guy who would never look at you. Well how would he? I never came into ‘His line of fire’ and when I did for the first time I was scared. He would be seen with a ‘Hide and Seek’ and a ‘Mountain Dew’ most of the times but a chance chat with him once (dunno what prompted me to speak to him) cleared quite a lot. He still remains the wackiest and the brainiest guy I have ever met.

The ‘Hide and Seek’ guy had a stern looking friend whose name, that sounded like toffee was so unlike her. Absolutely no nonsense, I never saw her smiling much. Then there was this most handsome looking surd I ever saw. He irritated me throughout the year by calling me a monkey (Apart from my Madame cap in winters, there is another ‘Red’ reason to it.)

Also there was an ever smiling chubby girl who was too vulnerable to be a journalist but still did a great job. Most of my hugs in the day went to her. Also there was this victim of wardrobe ‘malfunction’ oops! She believed that she had the perfect body on this earth. And yes she did have it. Though a little too obsessed with it.

A full blown feminist was also there, who called herself to be the closest friend of the over genuine guy I was talking about. But seriously I thought he was her baby. Bossy that she was. With me, she was as nice as ever, though even louder then me. (Believe me. people can be louder then me) She had an incredibly industrious boyfriend who added a lot of new dimensions to the department but I still wonder as to why I never saw him on any of the parties.

Another guy I would like to mention here was this ‘Mr Intelligent’ (He loved this title), though a little uncanny. His project on ‘wall newspaper’ is still making waves. His girlfriend could be called as Miss Puckered Brow though. Well she will kill me if she reads this. But it was so rare to see her smile. She gave me a big hug today as I met her in the department. Guess she was in a great mood.

We talk about them everyday. The guy with long hair and beard (I am sure he is going to be a great filmmaker one day), two cat eyed girls. And yes, how can I forget another chap who believed he was practically a woman from inside, never used to bathe, but if you talk about most of the girls from my class, he would make a classroom of hearts flutter like a quivering mass of jelly in a way reminiscent of a speedy cardiac unit.

There was this girl with beautiful auburn tresses and yes a ladakhi superstar. His mole on the lips, oh damn! it was just so sexy.

Well these people are being terribly missed these days as we occupy their position in the 2nd year. As we sit in the law canteen today it seems the surd guy would loudly shout ‘Monkeyyyy’ from a distance, the hugging monster would run her heart to give me a hug, the shy guy would say hi from a distance and the tall guy would be too busy counting the choco chips to look at you.

I had the time of my life with you guys. Miss you people, as it is difficult to settle in your classroom.

The air is just not ours.

..............................................

A dedication to all my seniors.