The Uncertainity

There is a blur. A haze, that blurs the line between good and evil. So much so that I forget the difference between paranoid and patriot.
I try to run closer to truth. It is like a breathless chase. All of it churns my gut, hurling me against the wall.
A glimpse of it suddenly now and I want to run away. Run away from it all like mad. Madness surpassing any other emotion and live in a virtual dream world yet again. Totally on one side of the blur. But the blur coaxes through its own hoops and wants me to see through. And temptation. Well there is too much of it.
I try and look through, yet again. And the world stops ticking for a moment. Or does it really stop? It doesnt. Its just what I feel.
I hate this feeling. This feeling of uncertainity where I can see things somewhat clearly but accepting it untill things really happen is what I dont want to do.
All I do is request this somebody inside me to please grant me some sleep.

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We women have this bad habit of clinging on to our thoughts believing all that we want to. I hate myself for harming my own self with this. But reality might hurt more and it will. This certainity is killing too.