The Water

As I look into the vacant today
As I search for the unoccupied
As I wait, lest the unfilled appears
The water flows by.

The mist gets thicker
My head feels heavier
And delusions appear
The water flows by.

Some write about blood
Some write about love
Some don’t write
The water flows by

The vultures stare at me
I stare back
The church bells ring
The water flows by.

Don’t close your eyes
Look at me and come closer
The shutters come down
The water flows by

I hear an opus symphony
Touching my empathy and heart
Moving in peace in the mind’s cart
The water flows by.

The water does not flow by anymore
Well, it must have found other shores
I wait for the incredible to happen
And invite the sea to beckon

Let the day not end
Let my flowing outfit stop the day
Running after the light, I gaze…
The shadow doesn’t touch me.

The Rainy Void

There are times when one wants to stop thinking about everything. Times when one just wants to put out of mind all that lies within it and look around with no perspective. Today was one such day.

The day was bright and sunny and water in profusion wasn’t really expected. But around 5 in the evening the breeze was indeed perfect. Perfect with my mood.And it started to pour soon.

The best thing that I realised was that I wanted to be blank and gaze. But void could be so good sometimes, I did not know. You just see and feel what is there, unlike other times when the void tries to dig in really hard, crushing the complete essence of existence.

Rain has somehow always given me this feeling of going back to school days. Another thing being that I have always loved to watch the rain, instead of drenching myself and enjoying it ‘on’ myself. I believe that rain reaches within me much more when I watch it. The colour of the day, puddles of water, people playing in it, some others trying to run for shelter.

Looking at rain does bind a lot of things at the same time. Exquisiteness, Fun and search for survival- as a package, right in front of your eyes, together, as different entities, but still going past each other without any concern with one another.

My friends played in the rain while I started to click photos.

But apart from all the splendour of the wonderful rain, the valid became apparent. The distance between void and valid was covered in not more then a second. I realised that I had to get back home from the university with Neha without the availability of the scooter or the car. (Nothing was available with us today.) So public transport was the best answer. But reaching the bus stop from the department was some ride. Water till our ankles, mud getting tossed and huddled under one umbrella with rains thrashing it from every side, we were soaked. To top it all, we had worn white tops today, a wardrobe disaster for the rainy day like today (we all had planned to wear white to demonstrate the solidarity of the batch in front of the juniors.)

What is a bus stop without a bus?

“Anxiousness personified.” Said Oliver Twist. For once he was right!

So a wait for another 45 minutes before we boarded an auto which took a good 30 minutes to make me reach home. Neha had to go further with 20 more minutes.

But I enjoyed myself in a very different way today. Rain and Void are words that are poles apart but this feeling was brought in by Rain and so positively that I just loved it being within me.

Empty spaces can be as beautiful as the rain itself. I am waiting for some more of these.

Air… Is it Ours?

He smiled at me from a distance and blushed as he said ‘hi’, trying to sound confident and self assured but still a little unsure as to how I would react. Not very tall, thin and rather just a 3 to 4 inches taller then me, (by the way I am quite short. Five feet one and a half inchs to be precise)I had met him in my office and was senior there by 2 years but in the university I was his junior.
This guy was too good to be true. An overdose of genuineness which was quite irritating at times, but he passed of most of the times as a cute guy, who had his own theories of life and liked to abide by them, no matter what.

Then there was this immensely tall guy who would never look at you. Well how would he? I never came into ‘His line of fire’ and when I did for the first time I was scared. He would be seen with a ‘Hide and Seek’ and a ‘Mountain Dew’ most of the times but a chance chat with him once (dunno what prompted me to speak to him) cleared quite a lot. He still remains the wackiest and the brainiest guy I have ever met.

The ‘Hide and Seek’ guy had a stern looking friend whose name, that sounded like toffee was so unlike her. Absolutely no nonsense, I never saw her smiling much. Then there was this most handsome looking surd I ever saw. He irritated me throughout the year by calling me a monkey (Apart from my Madame cap in winters, there is another ‘Red’ reason to it.)

Also there was an ever smiling chubby girl who was too vulnerable to be a journalist but still did a great job. Most of my hugs in the day went to her. Also there was this victim of wardrobe ‘malfunction’ oops! She believed that she had the perfect body on this earth. And yes she did have it. Though a little too obsessed with it.

A full blown feminist was also there, who called herself to be the closest friend of the over genuine guy I was talking about. But seriously I thought he was her baby. Bossy that she was. With me, she was as nice as ever, though even louder then me. (Believe me. people can be louder then me) She had an incredibly industrious boyfriend who added a lot of new dimensions to the department but I still wonder as to why I never saw him on any of the parties.

Another guy I would like to mention here was this ‘Mr Intelligent’ (He loved this title), though a little uncanny. His project on ‘wall newspaper’ is still making waves. His girlfriend could be called as Miss Puckered Brow though. Well she will kill me if she reads this. But it was so rare to see her smile. She gave me a big hug today as I met her in the department. Guess she was in a great mood.

We talk about them everyday. The guy with long hair and beard (I am sure he is going to be a great filmmaker one day), two cat eyed girls. And yes, how can I forget another chap who believed he was practically a woman from inside, never used to bathe, but if you talk about most of the girls from my class, he would make a classroom of hearts flutter like a quivering mass of jelly in a way reminiscent of a speedy cardiac unit.

There was this girl with beautiful auburn tresses and yes a ladakhi superstar. His mole on the lips, oh damn! it was just so sexy.

Well these people are being terribly missed these days as we occupy their position in the 2nd year. As we sit in the law canteen today it seems the surd guy would loudly shout ‘Monkeyyyy’ from a distance, the hugging monster would run her heart to give me a hug, the shy guy would say hi from a distance and the tall guy would be too busy counting the choco chips to look at you.

I had the time of my life with you guys. Miss you people, as it is difficult to settle in your classroom.

The air is just not ours.

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A dedication to all my seniors.

The Ultimate

Kiera stared at the moon. Right in its eye. The crescent shaped beauty appeared a little dull today as compared to all the times that she had seen it before.

But the high tide didn’t give a damn about it.

It was at its regular best, rising in a lofty and elevated surge that would depart towards the sky, making a swooshing sound and would come back to the ground with an identical vigour. The tide tried so hard to touch the moon, but a monster named gravity would pull it down without any ado.

Kiera stood at the shore and ‘shouted’ a laughter. However, her voice seemed to drown in the cacophony of noise created by the blue water that looked so black and bad at the same time. She did it again. So hard that her throat nerves ached to tear her throat and come outside.

“Today is going to be the day” she said to herself.

Somebody watched her silently from a distance.

Suddenly the tears started rolling, drenching the already sweaty and beautiful ocean blue gown that she is wearing.

Swiftly but abruptly she starts to reach for the boat parked on to the shore by some careless fisherman. Pushing it into the water she settles herself into it, finding it a little difficult with the feathery gown and starts rowing.

The ultimate is where she wanted to reach today.

Looking towards the shore she shouts back, “Hey you! Follow me. Its not just my honeymoon!”

……………………………………………
A little indistinct I guess, but wanted to write something light this time.

1st bout of Creativity

Well the credit for the idea of this post goes to The Island Girl. Her insistence and my enthusiasm has delivered this raw post.
We did an assignment on the first day of my masters. It was a creative writing assignment and we had to make a short story including 5 words that did not really have any connection each other.
The words were DOOR, AXE, MIRROR, DRAIN, LEG

A Garlicky Gratis

It was the worst possible start to the week. Someone actually tampered with my morning fix.
At 9.00 am I am in a coffee shop in the suburbs, waiting for the delivery of my drug of choice. I see myself in the MIRROR towards the side of the counter.

The barista shouts out something I don’t catch and places a paper bucket on the bar.

A woman holding a similar cup approaches me and says, “Oops! Sorry that’s mine. I picked up the wrong one.”

She guiltily puts the one she has been holding back. I pick up mine, the one she has been holding back. I pick up mine, the one she has returned and after coming out look back through the glass DOOR. She smiles at me (Ooh, those cherry cheeks.) And I breathe into my divine AXE deo (dude you never let me down!) Her lymph like figure was as ravishing as Tendulkar’s drive to the LEG side

Anyways I reach office. I take a sip and spit it all over my keyboard. In those 30 seconds, that she was holding my drink, she apparently added half a kilo of cinnamon, a slice of ginger and something tangy which smells suspiciously of garlic.

So the coffee goes down the DRAIN. The day gets worse as the coffee machine in the office catches flu and the owner of a small edifice which to a great extent looks like a barn turned ‘chai ki dukaan’ dies (He serves some dreadful coffee, but its coffee..) Things start taking its toll as one of my appointments get cancelled. (Well I was expecting my drink there.) As I reach home at night, I straightaway head for the kitchen. But as luck would have it, the coffee box is empty. All I do is, deep breathe into it.

....................................

As 2nd year begins tomorrow, its showtime again!

2 + 2 = 4 or 22 ??

At times there is this feeling of being hammered. Right in the head. Rationality seems to be a clear answer but there are these ‘wonderfully’ close people in your life who just won’t be able to see clarity with naked eyes. Well it is not their fault also. But any elucidation also does not work. And you end up feeling distraught, hysterical, rebellious, nauseated and stupid all at the same time.

Complicated nature is what beckons me most of the times but sometimes the simplest of the things can create enormous, ogre like dilemmas that are easy to understand but difficult to explain. So much so that the swollen and sleepy eyes don’t feel like sleeping and be dead with the world

You feel, for once, that life could be easy and less knotty if we were all geeks and nerds, in the literal sense, who wont just have this something called ‘beliefs’, In other words, ‘judgements’, In yet other words ‘any sense of understanding things in the way they personally feel is right’.

I have never said this before. But logic and rationality seem to be so right at times. My sensibility regarding the fact that there can be a number of answers to a question and truth is nothing but a myth, is totally shaken for once, as there are some definite areas which can be called white and black. After all ‘grey’ is a mix of both the two.

The crystal clarity is not seen by those whom you want, should see, not even when they try and look for it. Maybe their mind just does not allow them to.

The situation can be maddening and provoking at the same time. You try so hard to simplify a geometrical problem which just does not get ‘Hence proved’ for its answer. Things aggravate and there is a complicated answer in the end which is not right.
AB=BC, BC//AD,
Hence AD//AB which is not possible
Hence not proved.

Maths- well I was never too good at it. But for once I feel this need of making people understand that two plus two is four in maths and not 22.

I am still trying to solve the vicious mathematics which has always scared me. For people who are masters of it. The only difference is that this time I am being commonsensical and coherent

Liberation

Jenny sat there. Totally spent out. But she did not regret anything. And why would she?

After all liberation was the answer to all the queries that her mind was trying to solicit at present.

“What the heck did you do?” The mind said

“Nothing……eh?” she said trying to hide the guilt.

“But why?”

“At all times, there is not supposed to be a reason for everything” And she turned away from her mind that always used to introduce her with the enduring principals of life.

She looked outside the window, into the sky and gazed for a while to search for something.

And she saw enduring happiness existing in the darkness of its own kind. Beautiful and magnificent as it was.

Suave, extremely vocal, equipped with immense clarity of thought, most of the times, she now sat silent with a turmoil that was eating into the conscience, blurring the voice of sanity and killing the spirit of tolerance.

“Help me lord! I didn’t have a choice.”

Suddenly the beast sleeping next to her got up with a start and next moment the vegetable knife was dug into her throat. After approximately thirty seconds, a lot of stuff was left popping loose from her gullet.

“So less today? I can tolerate with nothing. But adequacy and appropriate quantity should be provided. After all you had nothing but your body. Damn you man…you were good.” And he winked, looking at her.